Once Bitten, Twice Shy
by Saucery
Summary: Odin Allfather owns two high-maintenance pets. Loki is a cat. Thor is a dog. They don't get along - until, finally, disastrously, they do. This is absolute, unabashed crack! You have been warned!


**ONCE BITTEN (TWICE SHY)**

**.for _omens_.**

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><p>Loki has this way of curling his tail around himself when he's sulky that Thor finds <em>irresistible<em>, which is unfortunate and also dangerous, since Thor tends to get his muzzle clawed _off_ if he tries to get anywhere _near_ Loki when he's in one of his moods.

Just - that _tail_. It's so silky and dark and _long_, and - and _sensual_ - and Thor's well aware that his _own_ tail wags idiotically at the sight of it, especially when it's swishing back and forth so _lazily_, like the world's best (worst) tease -

Of course, he doesn't pounce on it. That... that would make him a bad dog. Thor doesn't want to be a bad dog. Master Odin only wants dogs that behave. And Loki - _Loki_ won't be impressed by Thor's total lack of impulse control, either.

But - but it's _there_. It's _right there_, waving and swirling in the air, and Loki's eyes are slitted and _green_, and - if Thor didn't know any better, he'd almost think Loki was _trying_ to get him to lose control. Trying to get him in _trouble_ -

Loki stretches his paws. Arches his back. Bares his _throat_ -

And Thor pounces.

He just -

He can't _help_ himself, and for a blissful, thoughtless moment there's nothing but Loki's slight body under his, and Loki's strange, enticing scent all _around_ him, and - gods, that _fur_, so smooth and velvet-soft and -

Loki's _snarling_, his green eyes hot and _insulted_, and Thor would spare an apology for assaulting his person, except that - no, he _won't_ apologize, not just because it's Loki's fault for being so - so _Loki_, but also because apologizing would require doing something other than _licking_.

He's licking Loki. And trying - _trying_ - not to bite his _neck_ -

And failing, because Loki's snarls _sharpen_ in that particular way that means he's going to _yowl_, which will bring Master Odin thundering down on them at any moment, and Thor can't have that, _won't_ have Loki taken away from him -

So he _growls_, his teeth scraping Loki's throat, and Loki - Loki _freezes_, shuddering, his eyes gone wild and and _black_, pupils utterly blown, and Loki's _scent_ is changing - becoming heavier and sweeter and - gods, intoxicating - and there's a quiet rumble beneath Thor that takes him several seconds to identify as a _purr_ -

Thor can't. He can't _believe_ this, but he also can't hold _back_, and he licks his way up to Loki's face, to his _mouth_, and -

- gets clawed _viciously_ for his trouble.

Clawed _hard_, and Loki's scrambling out from under him, and it's only the stinging pain in Thor's muzzle that keeps him from pouncing again, because Loki's scent is all heat and panic and - and thrice-damned _affront_ -

"Boys," says a voice behind them, and Loki whips around, eyes wide and somehow _betrayed_, before racing like a particularly sleek bullet past Master Odin's legs.

Master Odin sighs.

And Thor - Thor just _sits_ there, tongue hanging out, trying not to pant too obviously. His muzzle _hurts_. He can smell his own blood. He's probably going to end up with permanent scars, at the rate Loki's going.

At the rate _they're_ going. Oh. Loki _wanted_ -

"If I'd known bringing you a brother would be this much trouble," Master says, crouching next to Thor and inspecting his injuries, "I'd never have done so."

Thor's _growling_ again -

"Yes, yes, you love him. That much is obvious. But if you _must_ mate, at least keep it within your species, hm?"

Thor... Thor has no answer to that. It's not _his_ fault Loki's a _cat_.

"We'll have to take you to see Dr. Heimdall," says Master Odin. "Again. Perhaps I should just have you neutered - "

Thor _yelps_ -

And Master laughs. "Or, well, perhaps not. We wouldn't want to lose the, ah, spring. In your step." His eyes glitter shrewdly. "Or is it Loki's?"

Master is _cruel_. Thor huffs, and rests his head on the floor.

Another trip to the veterinarian.

Great.

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><p><strong>fin.<strong>

Please review!


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